This is the earliest known sample of my writing (and art): a transvestite poem, first written in 3rd grade. Even at that age, my perspective on things was a little unorthodox.
(If you can’t read the handwriting, the poem is typed below).
There was a man who grew and grew
The he bought a jacket that was new
Then he bought a coat
Then he sailed on a boat
And then he bought a dress that was blue!