The Cowboy

She first saw him in a crowded room.  A dark black room that seems to swallow everyone in it.

She didn’t think much of him. At least not in that way. At the moment, she wasn’t thinking of anyone in that way. She was in serious relationship with a serious man.

As the lights dimmed, the audience hushed. The tiny stage light came on and he stepped forward. Tall, lanky, early 50’s, long hair in a ponytail in that  ‘90s kind of way. He sported a white t-shirt, old blue jeans, a leather necklace and cowboy boots.  Twenty year ago and twenty years from now he’d still be wearing the same uniform.

He warmed up the somewhat drunk audience with a brief introduction to his first song and then, after tuning his guitar, began to perform.

The lyrics, full of cynicism and poetry, love and betrayal, innocence and rage, hit her like an ice storm. Yeah, that is exactly how life is, full of contrast and longing. His voice, that unapologetic baritone Southern drawl that has probably charmed many women onto his couch, sent a needle to her arm: she hasn’t been charmed in a long time. Her serious boyfriend wasn’t charming.

But this troubadour was. This cynical cowboy continued to seduce the skeptical audience. And with each song she realized more and more just how lonely she really was.

Who does this man think he is, she thought? How does he see right through her? He doesn’t know her. He doesn’t feel her. She’s never been on his couch.

And, yet, at this very moment, she felt like she was lying naked in his bed.

By the time the show was over, the cowboy set up a tiny table, selling his CDs and signing autographs. She considered going up and purchasing one, yet she hesitated. She couldn’t look this man in the eye, much less have a conversation with him. To him, she was transparent.  There’s no mystery about her. He’s just taken all her fears, anxieties and regrets, and through his perfect lyrics exposed her for everything she’s hidden from everyone, all her life.

No, she wasn’t going to give the cowboy the satisfaction of it all.

Instead, she quietly exited the dark building and stepped into the darker night.